Blurred Visions part II

 So here it is the later part of September and despite my vows to blog more often my somewhat reluctant ie lazy ways have defeated that purpose once more. Well never fear my faithful readers as I am here right now and right now we shall have a discourse on the things of Yeshua with some tiny updates on yours truly (that would be me),

  To start off my eyesight due to my diabetes is growing worse. To the point that an eye doctor told me that she doesn't expect me to pass my next drivers test.  What she didn't know is that my license is good until 2027. Soooooo...yeah....I'm good for awhile.  I think.  Heh. As far as my weight goes I'm holding at around 180 lbs no matter what I do.  My body is so freaking awesome at times and annoying at other times. 

Let's talk about Yeshua (my favorite subject/person/God).

  I had been watching youtube videos on people who say they have been to hell and saw a lot of Christians there which completely freaked me out...........bad.  To top if all off I also watched some videos from atheists who claimed they were once on fire for God Christians. Talk about major doubts that come flooding into my mind and heart.  I was a hot mess for a couple of months. My  vision spiritually was extremely blurred. 

  Then a YouTube channel called Lion of Judah started showing up on my feed and with the help of that Channel and others such as Kirby Ministries coupled with praying and getting back into my bible (slowly sad to say) and worship (I deleted all worldly music off my iTunes) I have slowly come back to my faith in Yeshua and it's more solid than ever.  Many nights I cried out to Him just saying His name over and over and over.  The cries of my heart were such and still are that can only be interpreted via The Holy Spirit. 

  Time is running short and Yeshua is coming  back for His family soon.  In the meantime there is much work for the Kingdom to do.  I still struggle with cussing, a bad temper, stupidity, etc but I trust Yeshua and know that He is working these things out of my life for I truly detest them greatly. 

  I don't know what the future holds but I do trust Yeshua completely and utterly.  In His hands I give Him all that I am.  Each day and night I pray for the forgiveness of my sins and I forgive everyone single person who has sinned against me just as Yeshua has completely forgiven me.  How can I expect to be forgiven for sinning against my Holy God when I can't forgive those who have sinned against me?  I also pray that those I have sinned against find it in their heart to forgive me my sins as well.

  I left Natural Grocers two weeks ago as I couldn't take it anymore.  I wasn't wanted there and it was made known to me.  Currently I am working at Walmart but not for very long.  The pay is better than Natural Grocers but only by a little.  I actually will start training with Sandia Federal Credit union at their call center on October 4th, 2021.  The pay is 17.50 an hour and Im pretty excited.  I had interviewed with Bank of America for their call center and I know I crushed that interview but they were "Pass" so as soon as I get my last paycheck from Natural Grocers and Walmart and I start with Sandia, I will close my checking and savings account with BOA (even though I've been with them off and on since 2000) and open new accounts with Sandia.  I plan on letting BOA know exactly why I'm closing my accounts, walking away and never looking back.

  Well, that is enough of that.  It is 5:32 am and I have been up since around 2am.  I got two hours of sleep, used that bathroom and then was wide awake. Meh.  Doesn't bother me one bit.  It used to but the amount of times this is happening is increasing as I get older.  I am 55 years old after all.  Ha! Who would have thunk that I would still be alive? Not me.  I swore when I was younger that I would be dead before the age of 30.  Twenty five years later and here I am still hahahahahahaha.  I pray my life has had some meaning and I have been a blessing to at least one person.  My main concern is my life lived for Yeshua though.  That my actions, thoughts and words were done to honor Him and Him alone.  Of course me being the sinner that I am, I know I have let Him down greatly time and time again.  Yet, I will get up every time I fall, repent, trust in His forgiveness, love, mercy and grace.  I know that He loves me and for that I love Him. 

  That's it for now my lovelies, till next time, keep serving Yeshua and I hope we meet in heaven one day soon.

  Kenneth Paul Maese

Servent and child of Yeshua

PS if you truly believe Yeshua is the Son of God and that He died for our sins to give us eternal life than repent and turn from your sins, give your life to Yeshua and follow Him all the days of your life.  Do as He has commanded (for our well being and eternal security) by living a holy and clean life (yes, we sin but we should strive daily not to), forgiving everyone utterly and completely, loving God iwht everthing we have which is mind, body, soud, spirit, and loving our neighbor as we love ourselves.  

  I love you with the love that Yeshua loves me.  

  Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, as long winded as it is hahahahaha.