My spiritual journey thus far

So this blog is going to be about my spiritual journey with Yeshua thus far.  

Since I am now 52 this is going to cover some territory....as it were.

I am going to start in my early childhood and since there is many years to cover, this blog will be an abridged version.  I hope to flesh out my walk with Yeshua a lot more in future blogs as well.

For now......onto the journey.

So I remember in my early childhood my parents would like to sleep in on Sunday mornings so they allowed the Baptist Sunday School bus pick my sister and myself up for kids classes every Sunday. I don't remember any of the teachings but I do remember that they came to get kids for communion one day and I wanted to go but was told that if I wanted to participate in communion I would first have to be baptized. I wanted communion so I agreed and the next Sunday I was.  I had no idea what I was doing but I dutiful answered the questions asked to me by the pastor who was baptizing me with the assistance of someone whispering the answers to me. So thus, I became I Baptist without knowing what a Baptist was. I was around ten when this happened, probably 8-9 years old. 

Fast forward to 13 years old and I find myself living with my sister and dad as my parents had divorced and my dad had custody. I was at a weekend retreat and had an amazing encounter with God.  To the point that I wanted with all my heart to live for God and be a good kid. 

Several years yet again go by and I find myself in the Army located in Fort Hood, TX.  I was there for three years and during that time I drank like fish and delved into witchcraft and a bit of satanism. My heart longed for God but I was blind and lost without anyway to find my way home to God.

When I left the army I went back home to New Mexico and found myself across the street from a non-denominational church where I became a member for a couple of years off and on. My desire to serve God didn't outweigh my desire to get drunk. Getting drunk was an escape I learned my senior year of high school.  

For the most of my years leading up to this point I had fought my knowledge that I was gay.  In my early thirties I became part of the ex-gay movement group and even went to group sessions, joined an on-line support group and attended a conference for ex-gays.  

Surprise.  After fighting being gay and praying/kicking/screaming/crying to God to change me, I was still attracted to men. I stopped fighting in my mid-forties and after much research and praying and seeking God have come to know that God loves me as a gay man who longs for Him and seeks to serve Him with everything I have.....now.

Meaning for many years I thought I could party and do things I ought not do and get away with not doing things I ought to do. 

Just recently, like a week ago, God has been getting my attention in different' manners but nonetheless in a way that has awoken me from my slumber....big time. 

Now I am seriously changing my life to reflect a life that not only honors God but I am doing what He has commanded me to do and I have left behind all those things He has commanded me to leave and I am experiencing such joy, happiness, peace and love these days it makes my heart swell with love for my Yeshua who has promised all of us that He will never leave or forsake us!!!

God s so good.  

If you don't know Yeshua (Hebrew for Jesus) I'm pleading with you to call on His name and He will reveal Himself to you.  Let Him know you want to know Him, truly know Him.  He will answer every sincere heart. 

OK, I don't want this blog to be too long so I'm going to stop for now.

I love you all with the love that Yeshua has given me.

In Yeshua's loving and mighty name,

Kenneth Kenny Paul Maese