The Woods Edge

 Here it is a Saturday morning not too earl, ten am to be exact.  I just got home for grabbing some coffee as the,,,you know...it actually doesn't matter.  

So as you can see, it's been awhile since I've blogged and as always a lot has taken place.  

Part of me wants to go into detail but most of me is already tired at the thought of trying to blog what has happened recently and not so recently.  

Let me actually catch up with what's going on with Alex.  He is down to three toes with the big one dead and one ready to fall off.  Monday he goes in so they can determine blood flow to his foot but at this point it's just a matter of time before they cut off the remaining toes and part of the foot as well.  He's taking it one day at a time but it's messing with his mind.  I'm trying to be as supportive as I can under the circumstances.  The circumstances I will explain in the next paragraph.  

So as you know I have been having my doubts about whether I can continue in this relationship or not.  Long story short, several weeks ago I ended our relationship which turned into the worst week of my life.  We got back together and eventually talked about why I ended the relationship but even with last nights talk I still have my doubts.  For one he is has of late been saying that he can't fix something if I don't tell him what's wrong yet he does the exact same thing only bringing up things when I say that we need to talk.  There is so much to go into that I don't have the energy right now.

It doesn't help that allergies are at an all time high and I have never felt worse.  My energy level is pretty low and I am running on coffee pretty much,  Also thanks to my diabetes my eyesight is slowly going,  My left eye is horrible but luckily my right eye is much better than my life.  I go in Monday for a follow up check up, say a prayer for me.  I know, you're reading this after the fact.  

Still working with SSA and it sucks, that's all I am going to say.

Still working on my relationship with Yeshua, trusting Him, loving Him and doing my best to honor Him in every aspect of my life.  It's hard because I am an idiot or rather I act like an idiot by my selfish motivations and acts, also by my words and thoughts.  I am ashamed.  Still I place my life in His hands.  What else can I do? He is my life, my everything.  I can not live one iota of a second without Him.  I want every moment of my life to be spent knowing that He is right beside me that I will conduct my every thought, action, word showing Yeshua that I truly do love Him with everything that I am.  

Later todayI am going to add some ink to my right forearm and I am freaking stoked.  It's weird though because I haven't really discussed what I want done with my tat artist.  Hmmmm, guess I'll see what happens.  At any rate, I'm done for today as far as blogging goes, ttyl.

Know what I'm sayin'?